thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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