dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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