Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize