Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I understand Curling. That high.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
