Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
