Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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