genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
