Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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