dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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