Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
