is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
