If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
