I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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