I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
