What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
