My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Houston, we have a squirter
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
