my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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