If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
