The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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