I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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