That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
