Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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