Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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