Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
