Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
