If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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