I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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