when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
