All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My balls are so social today.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
