Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
