Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
