They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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