Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
A bitchslap is in order.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
