i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
