I want to walk on stilts...naked
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize