garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
