am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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