She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I understand Curling. That high.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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