My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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