did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My bed smells like the plague
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