I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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