im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
