Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
