the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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