I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
