i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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