Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
