Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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