I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
