You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
