am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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