I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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