Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
