3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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