Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
