I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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