conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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