i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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