Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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